Affirmations can feel like that too, like you’re lying. Sometimes we read in books that if you want something, then repeat the words that match the desired outcome over and over—because doing so will make your dreams come true! Maybe, but not likely. There’s more to using affirmations than just saying words.
My writing coach taught me the importance of “showing” more and “telling” less in writing my memoir. What this means is to get into the feeling of a scene. This works for creating a new life experience too—and why affirmations that “show” really do work. When we “show” that thing we want, then our feelings are involved. Feeling is what fuels the affirming words. The problem with just “telling” is that the (telling) words lack any power if all we do is throw them out there without doing anything else. Nothing great happens if we just rely on the all-mighty and powerful magic of affirmations to do all the work.
If I want to be a published author, I must write things and share them. When I do, then saying “I’m a writer” or “I’m an author” feels like the truth. If I want to add some oomph to this statement—let’s say I want to write a lot of good quality content and not just okay stuff—then I might say (affirm), “I am a brilliant and prolific writer” (a wonderful and powerful affirmation Julia Cameron teaches in her book, The Artist’s Way).
But, just saying “I am a brilliant writer…” still doesn’t make it true. In order to make it true, I have to work to improve my skills as a writer and “show” my brilliance by showing up to write every day instead of just when I feel like it. I have to build the “showing” by actually “doing” (or at least attempting to do) that which I desire. And I have to remember to show my enthusiasm for being a writer. If I didn’t, people might ask, “Do you “really” like being a writer? Because you sure don’t look very happy when you say you are a writer.”
This “show don’t tell” practice can be used in any area of life. If you want to be more at peace then work to “be” the essence of peace. You can’t just say, “I am at peace” and then go ranting to the neighbor about the weeds in their yard. You can accept the weeds (and find peace with the neighbor) or pack up and move (and maybe go rant to a new neighbor about their loud music). But you can’t have both: ranting and then five minutes later say “I am peace.” When your behavior is in complete contradiction to your words, and reality, you actually feel worse. Because it feels like a lie.
Showing (by actually “being” the thing you desire) versus telling and then not doing what you “said” is cause for a troubled heart. Merely saying that you are happy, wise, loving, and calm or at peace is an obvious lie when your life says otherwise. When you merely tell without showing, no one will buy it anyway. And, worse, you end up complaining, “I’m doing exactly what that book said to do—repeating words that make me “happy”—and it’s not working!” You feel like a victim.
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Trinity of Truth Tip:
Stop telling everybody how happy you are when you know you aren’t. Instead, “show” everybody how happy you are by feeling the emotions of happiness.Get into the feelings of the story you really (really!) want and live it out loud! Show us how happy and enthusiastic you are. How? By wearing a smile, by not complaining, blaming, or criticizing—things that actually tell others you are miserable (and not happy at all). The “show” voice is always more believable to you personally—your subconscious mind (where beleifs are made and stored)—and to others.
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An important note: Showing doesn’t mean bragging ("look at me, look how great I am and all the “happy”
things I do and have") either! Far
from it (braggers are usually the most unhappy people of all). And showing doesn’t mean to “show
off” how happy you are (even if you really are). That’s merely telling. A boring, dull, story that no one wants to
hear. Showing your happy self means to
gracefully “be” a happy, positive, energetic person on the inside. Then, let it—the happy story—speak (show) for
itself. 